A Transsexual Story

Jennifer Pallister

I interviewed Jennifer Pallister, formerly Randy Pallister, on Wednesday, February 8, 2000. During the interview Pallister (pictured on the cover) presented himself as a one-year post-operative, male to female transsexual, who successfully 'stick handled' his way past all the bureaucratic obstacles and underwent a gender reassignment surgical procedure (GRS). He was at the time of the interview legally female and living legally as 'she'. However, I didn't see Jennifer as the success that he saw himself as. [1]

Pallister was arguably a brilliant software developer, who reportedly had an erratic work history. In 1994 at the height of his career Pallister worked for Delrina on the development of WinFax. (Symantec later acquired Delrina and the company became known as Symantec Delrina.) However, over the course of his gender transition, Pallister watched his life spiral out-of-control. After learning about transsexualism on the Internet and immersing himself in page after page dedicated to GRS procedures, Pallister lost his job at Symantec Delrina due to productivity issues. Later, Pallister became chronically unemployed and at one point found himself living at a homeless shelter as a male to female transsexual. Finally, on August 29, 2007 Pallister reportedly committed suicide.

In any event Pallister's proclivities towards transsexualism did not entirely lead to his undoing, but it certainly played a significant role in his undoing.

In the interview Pallister admonished the medical practitioners, who treated him, including endrochronologist, Dr. Betty Chan, who he repeatedly referred to an "asshole" (59:12,19,20), Dr. John Goodhew, a general practitioner, who he called a "maniacal prick" (60:2), and the staff of the gender identity clinic at the CAMH, who he called "numbskulls". [2]

During the interview Pallister volunteered that he suffered from a number of mental disorders, including a borderline personality disorder (35:20), an attention deficit disorder (not on the transcript, but confirmed) (35:5) and a depressive mood disorder (24,21) and that he was in his words "just beginning to scratch the surface" of his mental health challenges (35:19). Had Pallister voluteered his true mental health background to the psychiatrist he obtained his reference letter from he would have certainly been rejected. All candidates to undergo a GRS procedure in North American are required to have two references letters, including one from a licensed psychiatrist and one from a licensed psychologist. The one from the psychiatrist is the more important of the two.

Pallister was chronically unemployed at the time of the interview, and reportely earned a small amount of money from disability insurance (66:15). In fact Pallister last words during the interview speaks volumes as to his awful situation. Pallister said on the verge of tears:

I have no money. [.] I can afford an apartment and a couple - some coffee and maybe the odd beer, but that's it. That's my life.(70:1)

Despite undergoing a number of feminizing procedures, including a hair transplant and a GRS procedure, Pallister suffered from obsessive compulsive thoughts revolving around his anatomical sex the balance of his life. After the surgery Pallister reported being obsessed about his voice, which he regarded as masculine and not feminine. In fact he reported that he thought about his voice every day. Pallister also reported being obsessed about conceiving a child and undergoing natural child birth. Post-operative, male to female transsexuals are medically incapable of conceiving children—a function exclusive to the female of the human species. In fact it is not medically possible for a male to turn into a female. Yet, Pallister, who knew he was anatomically male, jumped from obsession to obsession—all relating to his anatomical sex.

Although I didn't report Pallister as being autogynephilic in the book, I believed during the interview that I was, indeed, staring in the face of the pathology. I should point out that the DSM-IV-the current guide to diagnosis of mental disorders, put forward by the American Psychiatric Association-does not recognize autogynephilia as a sexual disorder. Nonetheless, Autogynephilia as defined by Ray Blanchard is the paraphilic tendency for a male to become sexually aroused by the thought of either being or turning into a female.

Pallister reported a number of incidents with women that were autogynephilic in nature and not indigenous to females. Pallister proclivities towards transsexualism began as early as age 5 or thereabouts—the same age males become sexually aware. The sexual identity of an 5-year-old child is fully developed and immutable. Pallister could not have a gender identity disorder and any diagnosis to that effect is fundamentally flawed.

Pallister reportedly engaged in cross-gender role play during intercourse with a female in the tenth grade. The female pretended to have a penis while Pallister pretended to have a vagina. Pallister reported the female got on top of him and started "humping" him like she had a penis and Pallister a "cunt". (15:25, 16:1) Pallister mentioned another women, who he described as a girlfriend he dated, when he was 30-years-old, whom he found attractive. Pallister reported that this woman was from Guyana but her lineage was from Kashmir (28:15). Pallister reported that he not only wanted to have sexual relations with this woman but also he wanted to look like her as well (29:5).

Pallister satisfies the text book criteria of an autogynephilic transsexual. In Michael Bailey's book, The Man Who Would Be Queen, ©2003, Joseph Henry Press, ISBN 0-309-08418-0, Bailey provides a test to distinguish an autogynephilic transsexual from a homosexual transsexual. The test appears on page 193. Bailey's test includes a number of questions. The question are grouped, some have a value of +1; others have a value of -1. If the sum of the score gets to +3, Bailey instructs you to stop. The transsexual is autogynephilic. If the sum gets to -3, the subject is homosexual.

+1 As a child, did people think you were about as masculine as other boys?
+1 Are you nearly as attracted to women as to men? Or more attracted to women? Or equally uninterested in both? (Add 1 if "Yes" to any of these.)
+1 Were you over the age of 40 when you began to live full time as a woman?
+1 Have you ever been in the milirary or worked as a policeman or truck driver, or been a computer programmer, businessman, lawyer, scientist, engineer, or physician?
-1 Is your ideal partner a straight man?
-1 As a child, did people think you were an unusually feminine boy?
-1 Were you under the age of 25 when you began to live full time as a woman?
-1 Have you worked as a hairstylist, beautician, female impersonator, lingerie model, or prostitute?